sam gave notice

sam gave notice to his apartment complex yesterday. he's moving in with me on june 1st. i'm pretty excited about it.

i feel like there's something more i want to say about it, but it just sounds like justification for this move, which i don't feel like i need to give.

in addition to all the struggles over the last 8 months, i've also struggled with the feelings of being judged and feeling like i need to defend myself against those who would say i'm doing the wrong thing by letting go of aaron and embracing sam so completely.

i hear voices in my head:
so soon? you just ruined aaron's life 6 months ago, and now sam's moving into the house you and aaron bought together?
are you sure you're not making a big mistake- do you even really know sam?
you're betraying aaron, you know that right?
you don't have any right to do this- you should be miserable after what has happened.
if aaron is hurting or struggling, do you really have a right to be happy and soaring?

i learned a long time ago how to distinguish my own voice from the other voices in my head. when people say that you should get in touch with your inner child, i think of that clear, strong, happy, hopeful voice inside that i know to be my own. then it's easy to hear how the voices i mention above are different, angry, judgmental... wrong.

so maybe my feelings of needing to justify have more to do with the voices in my own head, rather than those of people around me.

i suspect some people DO judge me. and that's normal.

for my own part, i'm thankful to be learning how to listen to the true me inside and make decisions based on her instincts.

so there. sam's moving in and i really couldn't be more excited. i wish we were moving into our own place, but that's just not possible yet. so we'll make the best of it, and i'll learn everything i possibly can about myself throughout the process.

excited!!