frenzy of dissatisfaction

feeling so restless in life, lately.

feeling like i still have so much to learn. wondering if most people in the world feel a little lost throughout parts of their lives, or do i just overthink things? probably both, eh?

is everyone so insecure about themselves? i'm sure everyone is a little, but insecure seems to be the word of the year for me.

how do other people deal with the insecurity?

how do i just let go, let it be and accept myself the way i am? unfinished.

i feel like i'm in some race with myself- to get myself done, to know everything there is to know, to be complete and be completely under control.

it's not enough to just learn, i have to know within myself what i learned, why i learned it and how i will never do THAT again, ever.

like there is some race to be 'perfect' and i know i could just get there if i worked hard enough.

the little voice inside me, the one that knows truth, says two things:
you are fine just the way you are now, be happy with yourself and appreciate the things about you that make you unique and so-called 'flawed'
relax, it doesn't all have to happen now

then the voice quiets down in the urgency of the day, and i work myself back up into some frenzy of dissatisfaction. and i become unhappy with myself. and scared.

i feel like the lesson this year really is patience. i need to learn patience.