so sierra bravo (a web development company) is putting on the F1 overnight website challenge- they're pairing 11 non-profit organizations with 11 web development teams to create 11 websites in one sleepless weekend.
this weekend, i'll join two copywriters, one information architect, two graphic designers, and two developers to create a website for... well, to be honest, we have no idea who. we'll find that out on saturday morning!!
we're going to stay up all night making this thing happen, why?
well, i like the idea of volunteering for something great that will be over almost immediately. no ongoing commitment, since i'm plagued with over-commitment-syndrome but can't get enough commitment, apparently.
other great reasons peeps are doing this- for the non-profits, they wouldn't get a website otherwise to win (one team will be judged as MOST successful and get bragging rights) to beef up their portfolio to prove to themselves that they can stay up all night to do something great while having fun to get tons of free red bull
so anyway, wish me luck. i may, or may not, make it out alive...
the heater in the house is/was over 50 years old. it was pretty neat to watch cronstrom's rip it out to replace it. here are some cool before.n.after pics:
btw, cronstrom's was pretty fantastic. i would really recommend them to anyone who is planning to have heating/cooling work done on their home. they were recommended to us and i'm very glad we went with them.
sam and i went to boston for work again and we had tons of fun. we stayed over the weekend and did some sight seeing that we never had time for before.
we checked out: kings chapel three different graveyards (i really love those) the north church the south meeting house the waterfront uss constitution mike's pastry- omg, the mousse cake and the fudge cake are simply amazing
not only did folks tell me they would miss my blog, people also reminded me that i should blog for my own reasons and if people decide to read it, then, cool!!
i'll be adding some new blogs as soon as possible... stay tuned, and thanks for the feedback!
love ya all!!
here's a video link sam just sent me, which involves a kitty. i haven't seen the video yet, but i'm sure it's wonderful. sam is afraid the kitty will get eaten, so be warned, maybe there will be blood (but i don't think so). i'm gonna go watch it now...
so i heard from two of my readers (thanks jj and tracy) about whether or not i should keep blogging or hang it up.
that's a bit discouraging, but hey, it's the truth, right?
if you've been holding back your opinion about my recent post, please feel free to share. i'd hate to assume no one is interested based on a complete lack of response or something.
so i've had a little lull in blogging lately for several reasons:
1. my whole life changed before my very eyes and i didn't think it fair to those involved to share personal details whilst in the midst of the change.
2. my whole life changed before my very eyes and i didn't have the energy to breathe, much less log onto blogger and type actual words.
3. once things slowed down a bit, i realized that my vision for my blog had fallen somewhat out of focus. __________________________ what?
so my blogging purpose is a little out of focus. can you help?
the purpose of my blog, as i previously defined it, was threefold: 1. to share online treasures that would expand the minds of my readers 2. to share my experiences 3. to share my photos/videos
sounds noble enough, right?
the first purpose seemed the most important, since i don't see myself as the 'my blog is really my journal' sort of blogger.
and in regards to that first purpose, my filter was this- if some treasure online made me stop and think 'wow, that's pretty sweet/different/geeky/innovative/special', then i would blog about it.
however, now, i see something that makes me think that at least once or twice a day, so that i have treasure overload and it all seems lame, somehow.
plus, maybe i just don't think my readers are having a hard time finding interesting stuff online, so what service am i really providing? __________________________ now what?
so i'm considering two things:
1. blog about myself and don't worry about expanding the minds of my BLAH BLAH BLAH- why not have another journal.blog, eh? and besides, i don't call you all often enough so this may be the only way you know what's going on with me... if i go with this option, i'd leave the new 'internet stuff's' content in the right column over there (no images or preview, tho), which highlights the things i find on the internet all the time that i like (----->), but i'd just talk about myself and what's going on and i wouldn't feel the constant urge to come up with links and reviews of new/unique/cool stuff online (let myself off the hook, right?). ... or... 2. close my blog down- are the ramblings of s.r.q so interesting that ya'll will return just to read my thoughts and (gasp) feelings?? maybe this blog thing should really go away for awhile...
i dunno, what do you think? let me know if you feel strongly either way, or even if you don't feel strongly. is there a better option i've missed?
my favorite features so far: i can get online just about anywhere, anytime i can pull up a google map just about anywhere, anytime every feature is integrated with every other feature okay, it really has too many awesome features to be able to describe all my favs...
i can't wait to show it to you. let's hang out soon so you can check it out (if i'm not too nerdy for you now)!!
saying it with intent doesn't make me feel much better, but i feel like i need to come to terms with it, so here goes:
i'm getting a divorce.
seeing those words and thinking about the process i'm about to take brings tears to my eyes. there are so many difficult things to think about.
- i NEVER thought this would happen. - it makes me think of our wedding day, and how much fun we had, and then i cry. - i hate the idea that one of us will be a petitioner and one will be a responder. i want to do it together, like we did when we got married, but by the very nature of it, we are set up to be separate. - i love aaron so so much and i'm still grieving the change of our relationship. - i'm sad to think of how he feels about it. - i hate that it seems to be all about money and splitting everything up. it just feels so cold and ugly and seems to be the wrong treatment to our relationship, which is real and alive and caring. - i want to do it soon, to get it over with, so we can get on with our lives and our friendship. but i'm afraid aaron will feel like i can't get away from him fast enough, which just isn't true. - it feels like such a formal step. i feel as weary of divorce as i was of marriage, and maybe even more so. - i don't really know how to do this. i'd like to go cheap and maybe do it ourselves without lawyers, but jeez, how scary is that? - i just don't have any money to spend on it. how ironic that it was the same way when we got married, but somehow it was more satisfying to find the money for that. - i know i will be the one to own this process, which is exhausting just to think about. - i think he is hoping there is still a chance we may get back together and when i file for divorce, it will kill that hope. it hurts me so bad to think about how that will hurt him. i've spent so much time working to help him and build a life with him, it's hard to be on this side of it now, almost destroying his life, even though i know that's not an accurate description of what's happening. i just feel rotten. - it feels so wrong that the person that i shared all my time with is now a friend that i might schedule lunch with. so hard to get accustomed to the change, and depressing. - divorce is such an ugly thing. i hate you divorce!
my niece dictated this santa letter to her teacher, who wrote it just the way she asked...
it says:
dear santa,
you are big and jolly. i like that. do you like stars? will you bring a pink bracelet for my mom? pink is her favorite color. my brother wants ten thousand trucks. my dad wants a pair of new screwdrivers. i want some sunglasses because the sun hurts my eyes. merry christmas santa. love alicia
i love that she starts by asking santa a question about himself and then asks for things for her family. she asks for her own gift last, and doesn't even ask for a toy. very practical, just like her aunt. =)
alicia lost her second tooth yesterday and is turning 6 next week. cliche, i know, but it's hard to believe she's growing up so fast.
her little brother, cole, is reading already and he's only 3.
i just love them so much and wish i could be closer to them.
aaron is moving into his own apartment this weekend. i'm planning to help him finish packing tomorrow and then move on sunday.
it's been so sad to make this transition. the grief and sorrow are sometimes so overwhelming, i cry without being able to stop.
when i'm in that place, i always try to remember: - this is the way it needs to be, it just does - it's not like we won't see each other - i can love everything about aaron and accept him the way he is, but that doesn't mean we are right to be together - this will be so good for us and we will both grow tons from it - it's not an end, it's the natural progression of life
i remember those things, but sometimes they don't help and i'm just so damn sad.
on the flip side, i think aaron is showing more excitement than he was. either that or i caught him at a good moment yesterday. i hope he can get excited and see this as such a huge opportunity for him, which it is. the freedom may be scary at first, but i imagine it will grow on him quickly.
I got this card in the mail recently. it was so nice, i just have to share it with the internet and somehow pay the niceness forward a little.
i met barbara on a plane when i was flying to denver for work. she wrote this to me:
_________________
dear susan-
you sat beside me on a plane from minneapolis to denver last april. when it looked like i might be stuck overnight in denver- you graciously offered to share your hotel room with me. that was so generous- i haven't forgotten. i meant to write and thank you sooner- but the time slips away so quickly.
i hope you will enjoy many blessings in the new year.
barbara _________________
she ended up catching her connecting flight after all, so i didn't actually do anything for her, but it was so nice of her to send me the well wishes.
i love finding kind people in the world- it refreshes my belief in goodness.
this transition has started to get pretty scary for me. i'm certain about my choice to change the nature of my relationship with aaron. i couldn't be more certain that it will be the best thing for me (and hopefully him).
after that certainty, there aren't any others. i doubt myself and my choices.
if something feels good, really good right now, is that because: - it's new and therefore naturally exhilarating? - i'm hiding the truth from myself because i want to feel good? - it's the right thing and i can trust it? - it's healthy for once?
if something feels off or wrong right now, is that because: - it isn't right for me? - it's new and therefore naturally a little unsettling? - it's a transition period and therefore also naturally unsettling? - i'm over-thinking it? - it should feel a little off, it's healthy for once?
do i need to: - seek immediate resolution (is good resolution possible in moments of high transition?)? - grow in some way (do i call it growing, but really it's just compromising myself until i feel okay with something that's not right)? - let go until things calm down, just focus on the feelings, but not on making changes? - take a stand and refuse to let the situation continue?
how do i trust my senses and my instincts ever again? this is the second time in my life when i woke up to realize i wanted to choose a completely different life path for myself than i was currently taking.
i feel like i'm in my bedroom as a child again. my dad is coming into the room. i know he wants to see that i'm not unhappy with what is happening, so i disconnect and show him what he wants to see. i bury the real thoughts so deep, they never have a chance to get out. AND, i believe that's the right thing to do because i don't want to be disruptive. it's somehow worth it because...
well i guess that's the part i just don't understand. is it worth it because it keeps the peace? i hardly seem to be afraid of not keeping the peace in a lot of different parts of my life. does it just have to do with my relationships with men?
regardless, i know that i am capable of carrying on a life in front of myself that goes against the things i really want and need. i know that about myself. and in knowing that about myself, how can i have any trust in any of my choices?
part of me says let go and just live, it will work itself out. but part of me knows that i've done that twice now, and woken up years later needing to make a big change.
i feel so overwhelmed. scared. sad. angry. alone.
i feel like i had confidence in myself before this. now i feel like i've lost my compass and north is nowhere to be found.
i hope i'll be able to resist the urge to 1) try to predict the full and final outcome of life based on each and any particular choice and 2) paralyze myself with the uncertainty that undoubtedly and naturally follows such an approach. ___________________________
aaron left the hospital last night and celebrated his freedom by going home, walking to the coffee shop, walking home, then watching half of 'oh brother, where art thou' with me before going to bed. he is very happy to be out, and i'm happy FOR him.
if you want to call him, let me know and i'll give you our home phone number if you don't already have it.
so yeah, how was i to know that everything in my life would change 100% in 3 months time?
i really didn't even think that was possible.
yet here i am, rethinking everything i know about practically everything; exhausted and exhilarated by the last 3 months of my life.
that one line from fight club where ed norton and brad pitt's characters are talking about their relationship comes to mind repeatedly for me: fuck what you know. you need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me.
i feel a little bit like ed norton's character must have felt when he realized things weren't quite what he thought they were.
it took some time for all the pieces to come together and make sense, but once they did, he welcomed the truth, and i think i do to.
it's surreal.
but it's welcome.
'my eyes are open.'
i say to sam: you met me at a very strange time in my life. __________________
my hopes:
aaron and i will remain close friends throughout our lives and share all our wonderful events at least in some close proximity.
i will continue to open my eyes to the truth about myself and keep them as open as possible.
i will have the courage to make decisions based on the truths i know and the truths i learn about myself and others near me.
i will allow myself the luxury of actually making mistakes (some big ones) so that i can learn to grow and love myself at the same time i experience life to the fullest.
i will welcome my decision to drift down the river of life and trust that the current has always supported me and always will.
i will always treat people with the love, respect and honor they deserve.
i will stop being so dramatic about all this shit. __________________
there is no shortage of things i'd like to blog about right now, but i just don't feel free to share all that is in my mind.
i hope that i can return to open and free blogging within the next few weeks.
please come back and check from time to time- i really don't want to lose you, fine reader, and when i finally return to blogging, i hope to make it worth your wait.
i went out to boston for work this week and the city was really nice to me for awhile, but then it decided to break my camera- my dearest friend who is really just an extension of my self.
how did it break my camera? i'm not really sure... i was taking pictures in little italy, near mike's pastry (serious yumminess, btw). then when i went to review the pics later, the screen showed me a picture i didn't remember taking. =( then i realized the screen was broken and i died inside.
i'd like to show you what that screen looks like since it's got great color and composition, but i can't take a picture of it, unfortunately. =(
the sadness in me is nearly unbearable. i can't even look at the pics on the card, cause they only remind me that i can't take anymore pics for awhile.
boston, why did you break my baby?
(sigh)
besides ruining my life, boston was so nice to me. how can i reconcile a city that is nice and mean at the same time?
if you're reading this and you know how much i love my camera, please leave a comment- i need some lovin'...
we had a lot of fun while she was here- shopping, taking pics, eating sushi, talking. i'll miss her.
btw, i asked her why she didn't hit my blog with a really good story of me to amuse all of you and she surprised me- she said she couldn't think of any stories that weren't really really embarrassing.
it's true, she has some really embarrassing stories about me, but i was surprised becuase i thought she would have delighted in the opportunity to really stick it to me. =)
especially after i mentioned that her first boyfriend, david, kissed me in his bedroom not too long after they broke up. (now there's a memory)
it's not too late, jj- you could still hack my blog again before you leave...
aaron made the most incredible surf and turf ever for jj and me:
grilled new york strip with mushrooms, grilled scallops with an amazing tomatillo cilantro white wine sauce, minnesota cous cous (wild rice, cous cous, corn, zucchini, red pepper)...
holy cow, that was amazing!!
jen asked me to mention- she ate two whole scallops, and she doesn't really even like them!! (she gave her last one to me me me!)
yeah, i'm not going to get up on a soap box about it, but i like the change in attitude about the beauty industry, illustrated by the dove 'evolution' ad and their latest one, 'onslaught':
there is something that bothers me slightly about these ads, maybe that dove hasn't always held this perspective and probably helped contribute to the current situation. it's cool tho that they're leading this new attitude.
there's this channel on youtube created by girls who are 'flipping' ads because they are disrespectful, irrelevant, promote an unhealthy body image, and in their opinions, fail to effectively sell the product they represent to the target audience- girls. check out the channel here.
here's a good representative example:
yep, i also love that the girls get to state what they think on video- helps improve their own confidence, i'm sure. great approach.
About the "he's so greasy" comment- I've always wanted the VERY best for Susan, and also I'm a schmuck. Put the two together, open mouth, insert foot.
It took me a little bit to realize that although Aaron was not exactly what I expected, he was exactly what Sue needed- and needs. He is perfect for her, and I love him for being so good to her.
my best friend from high school is coming into town today!!! she's the one who sat next to me in world lit class when i fell in love with aaron... her response was 'him?? he's so greasy!'
she and her husband (which makes her jen r0ss!ng, now) were the only people at our wedding, unless you count the group of people that stopped on their morning walk to watch and sniffle.
my dear friend linda took me to see 'two queens, one castle' tonight to celebrate our shared birthday and the show was so amazing. the singing was incredible, it was so moving and inspirational.
i really love linda- she is so good to me. i am just so thankful she is in my life. everytime i see her and talk to her, a little bit of her wisdom and life's philosophy rub off on me and i'm a little better for it.
tonight was no different- thanks for the insight and perspective, linda!!
- lindsey got lost and slept in her car - jeff and i became bff's (best fart friends) - julie camped for the first time and loved it - lindsey shared her toothpaste with me - zack drank too much and got sick - saire and mark argued about how fast mark was driving - jeff and lindsey got married
here is the longer, more detailed summary:
jeff, aaron and i drove up on friday. we got out of town a little late (okay, yes, maybe i was working a little bit...) and we stopped at fitgers in duluth for a little lunch and a few frosty beers. mmm.
we found our campsite easily, and jeff and i put up our tents while aaron went to get firewood. while he was in town, aaron called lindsey to make sure she was clear on how to get to the site. he said that the connection was bad, but he thought he had given her all the directions...
after we put up our tents, we headed down to the lake. the moon was so beautiful!
yummy bratwursts and beer for dinner. it got cold quick and we waited patiently for my dear friend lindsey. at about midnight, i gave up and went to bed, asking aaron to stay up a little later for her, which he did.
in the morning, still no lindsey, so jeff and i headed out to find her. we got to town and checked my messages- there was one with lindsey crying, which broke my heart clear in two. she had gotten lost and had slept in her car... =(
so we called her, found her, and hugged her for at least 5 minutes straight!!
then we went back to camp, got some breakfast, and headed out to lutsen.
when we got there, we found out that they weren't running the alpine slides on account of weather, so we got drunk and played scrabble. =)
soon saire and mark showed up and we hung out a little longer until we could see that the mountain tram was finally running.
we took a trip up the mountain and checked out all the fog on top. =)
the colors were amazing!
then we drove down to temperance river state park to meet jules and zack and to hike around there. the waterfalls are so fun in the fall.=)
headed back to camp and aaron made pork chops (and apple sauce), potatoes, and corn on the cob. fabulous!
julie and lindsey brought birthday dessert, so we scarfed that, too.
then, the campfire conversation kicked into gear and we hung until late into the night.
at one point, the boys decided to find campfire and even had a wood chopping competition or something silly like that with an old ax aaron and i bought in 1996 (yes, i remember when we bought the ax) which has never been sharpened.
beers were drank, laughs were had, good stuff.
in the morning, it was raining (and zack was puking outside his tent), so we piled into the cars, left zack behind to recover, and hit a restaurant in town for breakfast.
we came back to camp and most of the group headed out. julie and zack hung around until zack was well enough to travel, then the four of us went to split rock lighthouse, which is one of my favorite sites up there.
we said goodbye to julie and zack and hung out at the beach for awhile longer.
we drove home.
all the pics:
i'll post some video soon...
aaron has something he would like to say... ____________________________
yay for susan's birthday!! it was awesome.
in honor of susan's project management skills, this list of 'things not to forget when you go up to the northwoods' was compiled around the campfire on saturday.
if anyone reads this and goes camping in northern minnesota, don't forget your:
ashtray, bratwurst, campfire, dildo, egg, fart-knocker, galazy, horseradish, icabod crane, jelly bellies, kayak, both your legs, your military, a nano second, octopus, pipe, quantum mechanics, recess, sub sandwich, transformers more than meets they eye, uzbekistan, victory, water, a xenophobe, yogurt, and when you're ready to sleep, some zzzz's. ____________________________
okay, so corey, the guy talking in the video below, replied to my recent post about utilikilts (or at least someone impersonating him did).
first, corey is a hottie.
second, here is some free marketing advice for you, corey-
one of my friends said that he didn't think he could handle all that freedom and that got me thinking...
corey, at some point you had to get over the idea of being so free. it must have been something of a challenge, putting on the utilikilt for the first time and walking around in it. i really like your marketing idea of 'girl's are into it' cause it's true and very very fun. but here's my advice:
think of ways to help guys get over the idea of 'too much freedom' so they can imagine the benefits. you can use the same kind of humor as you use in your current stuff to talk about that first experience with the utilikilt and how rising to the challenge (sorry) brought ever-lasting comfort, pleasure, women, and damnation, of course.
cause really, what guy doesn't like to think of chics chasing him down cause he's wearing a sexy item of clothing? but that same guy probably imagines endless freedom as a bit of a risk and certainly potentially dangerous, right?
how did you get over it? share that. guys who can visualize the path they might take from restriction to glorious abandon, might be more interested in what you have to offer.
free advice, of course, is always worth what you pay for it.
if you've heard me talk about WNYC radiolab, you know that i love love love the show.
well, jad and robert are coming to minneapolis, and for just $15 fine dollars, you can see the show!!!
aaron, julie and i are going for sure. we'd love to have you join us!!! Saturday, October 27th 8pm Fitzgerald Theater Live sweetness!!
if you wanna hear what it's all about, you can find the podcast on itunes (free).
let me know if you're interested in joining us.
jules and zack- you know you wanna kat and scott- i dare ya! heidi and louisa- do you even read my blog? sam and paul- bring it carla and tom- we'll try not to be obnoxious, i promise erika and jason- seriously lindsey and nathan- what are you waiting for? jeff and gene- oh no you di'int lori and tesia- loves of my life, let's get it ON!
if i didn't mention you by name, you are doubly invited!!
the last few weeks have been really tough for me for a number of reasons.
to help me through, you have: - endured long, complicated conversations - encouraged me - sent me cards - rescued me in the middle of the night (big love to jules) - shared your stories and insight - validated me - snuggled under the covers (big love to my kitty) - sympathized, empathized - let me cry - reminded me of who i am, what i'm capable of - just been there for me, spent time with me, called me to check in
i'm in a much better place now and i'm proud of the work that i've done. it was hard but very worth it and i'm feeling the sunshine on my face again.
thank you for the part you played. you were all so good to me.
i hope, when you need me, i can be there for you in an equally important way.
doug and i worked together at allen until recently, when he took a new job at carlton college.
besides working, though, doug plays in a band- matt arthur and the bratlanders (he's one of the bratlanders). last night, a few of us from allen went out to see him play in northfield minnesota and we had an outrageous night. the band was awesome- tons of energy and so much fun!!
i took pics and made a little video, though these may not be all that exciting if you weren't there... =)
vicente stopped by last night before i went to julie's party, so i invited him to go with me- which he did.
for those of you that know vicente, here is an update- solidad is 6 months old and starting to rollover on her own, now. =) vicente's cousin ulices (you may remember him as the non-english speaking powerhouse from kickball a few season's back) had to go back to mexico, which is incredibly sad. ulices, we love you and we hope you are well!
you wanted to be the first, but you missed your opportunity...
someone is selling advertising on a picture of a crotch, with proceeds going to pay for the laser pubic hair removal of (supposedly) the person whose crotch is pictured.
i know you want to get in on that action... here's the link!
the 'men are jealous of the attention their wives give their children' concept is always a strange one to contemplate for me. i've never heard of a woman being jealous of her husband spending time with the kid...
this video is about 6 minutes long, but it's amazing. mr. rogers is trying to get money to help children, and the senate is outright laughing at him, jeering at him. the audience is snickering, but he is calm, steady, authentic.
it's been suggested to me that i often believe in what's possible to a fault. my friends have heard the story of how i returned to a stylist who gave me a bad haircut more than three times, resulting in 3 bad haircuts, all because i believed that the next time, she would figure it out and we would be golden.
and although my good friend forgot to check in on my kitty for a whole week while we were gone on vacation one time, i absolutely called her the next time i needed a sitter. i had to believe that she wanted to, and was able to take care of my punky brewster.
my friends laugh at these stories about me. i believe that things can work out for the better in so many situations and i'm so surprised each time they don't. i ask myself, is it crazy to believe that this person can succeed, or that this relationship can be rewarding, or that this company can improve? Is it crazy to believe things can be better?
watching mr. rogers breathes new life into that part of me. such strength and hope and courage. so amazing.
aaron and i are planning a weekend up in tofte (northern minnesota) for the fall colors, not this weekend, but next weekend. =)
(i sent out an email awhile ago to just about everyone i know to see who might like to join us, but if i missed you, and you'd like to go, let me know)
i just have to say, i'm so damn excited, i can hardly contain myself. i'm about to become uncontained, and that's not good!!! =)
darwin's theory about why humans have a high propensity to be altruistic and to care about each other is this:
if you are in a group of people that you care about, you will fight harder, win more often, and survive better, thereby continuing to give birth to more humans that have a high capacity for caring.
wow, how romantic is that?
also, because humans are monogamous, they care more. if all the meanest males are the only ones getting to mate cause they win fights, they would pass on the mean gene and no one would care. however, if there is a mate for everyone, then the caring gene goes on to live another day.
i've written this post about 8 times now. i keep deleting what i wrote because it sounds whiny. what am i really trying to say? it's too much? make it stop?
yes... but not really.
so why do i feel compelled to say something? what is it that i want to say? i'm overwhelmed? (whiny) i'm scared and uncomfortable? (that's life) i want it to be easy? (really, susan? i doubt that) it's too much? (quit yer bitchin')
maybe just that i'm exhausted (still whiny, i know) and would like things to settle down in my head and in my life just a little. i feel out of control. i think i've felt every emotion that ever existed in the last week or two. it should be a garden hose, but it's going like a fire hose.
really, susan? then why do you keep taking it all on? don't you think if you wanted to have a slow relaxing life, that you could? you're the one that keeps taking on more and it's not because you have to. you choose to. get used to it, this is what you want for yourself, even if you are really really really stressed out.
you want a challenging job, don't you? you want to enjoy friendships with everyone in the whole wide world, don't you? you want to challenge yourself on every level, just to make sure you haven't forgotten to shine up some part of yourself that needs shining, don't you? you want to push yourself to teach a class that's scary as hell, don't you? you want to play cello and work out and volunteer and go camping and hang with friends and play on the weekends, don't you?
you think you're ready for a kid, susan renee?
oh jesus.
if only i could lead two lives at the same time, i think i could do everything i want to do.
"I have a few more years left in with good behavior. My day will eventually come. I still have my pride and integrity and resources, and my new plan when I reach the world. So for all the beautiful ladies who are looking for such a man free to do so, give me a Holla!
Will you be the one?"
hey, at least he's honest about what he's in for:
"Mistakes: incarcerated for corporate scandals, manslaughter, self defense."
can you believe it? a long time ago, someone decided it would be cool to put a bunch of cars in a dirt 'ring' together and have them smash into each other until only one of them was still running- that idea caught on fire (just like many of the cars do) and people now bring their children to see the spectacle!!
wow, after you guys all smoked me on the cadaver-meter, i wondered "what's the point in living??"... and then i realized, well i might as well live, my body isn't worth much if i die. =)
well this time i know i've got a practically unbeatable score on the real age calculator. apparently, my real age is 12.2, which, before you start giggling, has more to do with how hard my body has lived, not my emotional age (smartass). also, i'm going to live to be 93.8 years old, which means i will die some time in the summer of 2068.
aaron showed me this game. it's appropriately addictive, so be warned...
the giants are throwing boulders at the town and you have to draw lines to bounce the boulders away (and hopefully back at them). this game is a lot easier and more fun than the wizard rock drawing game i previously posted...
we had a great time, as evidenced by the video and the pictures...
favorite parts: sam and adam, smokin' us like we were infants aaron and zack, going after jules disc in the swamp zack yelling 'banshee' every time he threw his disc (the name of said disc) hanging out with buds taco john's
my friend julie sent me this site today, which really cheered me up.
it's a site of someone who has hung a camera around his kitty's collar to take pictures throughout the day while he roams around. it's really very fun, since i always imagine what it would be like to be a kitty.
i would do this, but my kitty doesn't get to go outside (poor girl).
i'm co-teaching a class this fall at MCAD called Project Tracking. tonight was my first class and it was pretty cool. i'm really excited to see how the class goes. i feel like i have a lot to teach people about this subject.
been feeling really down lately. part of it is physiological i think, part of it is insecurity. i do much better when everything stays exactly the same and i know what to expect. when there is change in my life, even though i am the one creating it and it is desirable, it really does a job on my level of security within the universe. i usually go with my instincts, which are really very reliable, and then i spend the rest of my time second guessing myself and feeling down in general.
anyone else ever feel this way? can i get a what what?
if you're reading this, do me a favor and leave a comment just to let me know you're there and you feel me... =)
